malevolent snugglebutt

Heh!

2007-06-04T17:53:00.001-07:00

Wrong on so many levels, I hardly know where to start.

2007-05-30T04:45:00.000-07:00

::shudder::

YAY A CARTOON!

2006-12-04T21:08:00.000-08:00

Ack.

2006-11-14T15:17:00.000-08:00

US Presidential Speeches Tag Cloud

2006-11-04T22:33:00.000-08:00

Caption This

2006-11-04T22:26:00.000-08:00

Wheeeee . . .

2006-11-04T19:47:00.000-08:00

You can all expect e-mails soon . . .

2006-10-30T00:41:00.000-08:00

Wait. It's a what?

Improv Everywhere Does Aspen

2006-10-21T15:37:00.000-07:00

yawn Too much effort.

2006-10-21T13:27:00.000-07:00

The Nifty Thing

2006-10-20T21:52:00.000-07:00

Okay, this is what you do (you can also just copy the script code into the address bar of a loaded browser window and hit enter, but the steps below are how to save it for future use):

1. Copy this code. Just highlight the block and copy it into the clipboard, you'll be pasting it in a second:

javascript:R=0; x1=.1; y1=.05; x2=.25; y2=.24; x3=1.6; y3=.24; x4=300; y4=200; x5=300; y5=200; DI=document.getElementsByTagName("img"); DIL=DI.length; function A(){for(i=0; i-DIL; i++){DIS=DI[ i ].style; DIS.position='absolute'; DIS.left=(Math.sin(R*x1+i*x2+x3)*x4+x5)+"px"; DIS.top=(Math.cos(R*y1+i*y2+y3)*y4+y5)+"px"}R++}setInterval('A()',5); void(0);

2. Make a new bookmarks or favorites entry. It doesn't matter what. Just bookmark this page.

3. Right-click that entry in the menu, and pick "Properties".

4. Replace the bookmark address with the block of code, and change the name to Java Swirl. Then click "Okay" -- if your browser gives you any guff about the not-recognized thingy, just say "Okay" again.

5. Go here, or to any page you like with a bunch of small images on it. Once the page has loaded, go to your bookmarks or favorites menu and click the entry you just made.

WARNING: MAY BE ADDICTIVE

2006-10-15T16:23:00.000-07:00

So many windows, so little time...

2006-10-14T05:18:00.000-07:00

They have how-to's for bigger models, too.

Yowza.

2006-10-10T02:00:00.000-07:00

Caption This

2006-10-08T20:49:00.000-07:00

Here's mine:
Foley: You mean, you tell 'em this...
Bush: ...is this big. (nod)

English Lesson 101

2006-10-03T09:24:00.000-07:00

I give good head.

Caption This

2006-10-02T17:44:00.000-07:00

"Remember, no matter how tempting it is do not lick your computer screen."

2006-09-24T17:49:00.000-07:00

What in the blue Hell . . . ?

2006-09-24T15:01:00.000-07:00

He wuz haaaaaaard.

2006-09-21T18:27:00.000-07:00

Um.

2006-09-20T22:17:00.000-07:00

WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED OF THIS!?!

2006-09-14T01:23:00.000-07:00

"Deeper and deeper into the bowels of el Diablo . . ."

2006-09-10T23:01:00.000-07:00

"Fine! Then you sit here, and I'll watch movies and do gay!"

2006-08-15T20:59:00.000-07:00

Boldly Go

2006-08-14T21:11:00.000-07:00

(Via Smacky.)

Science Faction

2006-08-14T10:45:00.000-07:00

Sorry if it's already been posted. My internet connection sucks, so I don't get to surf much from here, but dammit, this made me laugh.

Vroom, Vroom, Vroom!

2006-08-13T15:51:00.000-07:00

Caption This

2006-08-13T02:41:00.000-07:00

How much longer now?

2006-08-13T02:30:00.000-07:00

NEDERLAND DAYZERS:

2006-08-11T09:36:00.000-07:00

The nice people at the random world Internet lottery (located, of course, in the Hague) happily notify me of the draw of the Email Lottery Ballot.

If you're not aware of this wonderful program -- and, really, who is? -- the notification explains:

All participants were selected randomly from the internet through the computer draw system, extracted from over 140 countries that are listed, online. Microsoft Corporation, to encourage some individuals with websites and email addresses promoted this lottery which takes place at this time, of every three years.

Got that? They find 140 countries listed online, and extract the computer draw system from them. Then they use said system to randomly select participants from the Internet!

To put it another way: I'M RICH, BIOTCH!

You have therefore been approved to claim a total sum of One Million Euro only, in cash credited to your File Reference number as quoted above.

And no, you can't have my file reference number. I made that mistake the last time I won the random world Internet lottery -- I was so excited, I forwarded the notification to everybody in my address book -- and by the time I got in touch with the lottery commission, the money was gone. (In fact, when they tried to wire me the funds, my bank balance suddenly went to zero, and my overdraft protection got maxed out! They're still trying to figure out why that keeps happening. This wonderful Nigerian fellow in their customer service department is trying to isolate the problem, and with every deposit I make we get a little closer to finding the cause.) Anyway, I'm not making that mistake again.

WOOT!

One million Euro only! That's, like, five hundred dollars!

Swimming pool full of Cheetos, here I come!

Two kinds of desecration.

2006-08-10T13:27:00.000-07:00

This lady loves her some mp3 scripture.

This lady loves destroying Bibles.

"You heard me, wookies . . ."

2006-08-04T22:30:00.000-07:00

Caption This

2006-08-03T21:30:00.000-07:00

To the tune of the Eagles' "Desperado"

2006-08-01T14:50:00.000-07:00

(A tribute to the current "Mary Worth" storyline, being flogged by Josh and company at the Comics Curmudgeon.)

Stalker Aldo, why don't you drop your pretenses?
You've been in bamboo fences, for so long now

Oh, you're a strange one
I know you lurk in the shadows
You think that Mary's a red rose, but
She'll hurt you somehow

Don't you tempt the queen of meddlers, boy
She'll break your heart for certain
And you came here for pleasure, not for pain

You just stare out of your window
As you pull aside the curtain
And pray that you don't kill someone . . . (again?)

Stalker Aldo, oh, you look great in that bow tie
But the people that walk by, they know what you've done

And Mary, oh Mary, well, she's got her doctor
(Who never has f@cked her, but she's still with someone)

Don't you know why she said "no" the way she did?
She's twice your age and not interested
Your creepy vibe makes her friends warn her away

And the way you appeared beside her car
To "help" her with her "groceries" . . . was "gay"

Stalker Aldo, why don't you drop your pretenses?
Inside bamboo fences, the rumors are heard
You might be desperate, and I know she's a looker -- but
You better get yourself a hooker
(Get yourself a hooker)
You better get yourself a hooker . . .

'Cause this is absurd.

Your interest policies, I cannot embrace . . .

2006-08-01T12:07:00.000-07:00

It's like a hobby,

2006-07-29T14:55:00.000-07:00

I guess . . .

Tough call.

2006-07-27T21:07:00.000-07:00

Nooooooooooooo . . .

2006-07-22T22:48:00.000-07:00

Mwa.

2006-07-21T00:28:00.000-07:00

(See more.)

Vote for Life

2006-07-19T12:28:00.000-07:00

It's just a what?

2006-07-17T01:00:00.000-07:00

According to Bush, "It's just a goddamn piece of paper!"

/headdesk

Average Homeboy

2006-07-17T00:59:00.000-07:00

Hooraaaaaaay beer!

2006-07-13T01:24:00.000-07:00

Gas Price Map of U.S.

2006-07-11T17:08:00.000-07:00

Someone had waaaaaay too much time on his hands

2006-07-10T19:32:00.000-07:00

NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!!

There's some sort of deep message here, I'm sure of it.

2006-07-09T23:06:00.000-07:00

Win their trust before you eat 'em.

2006-07-08T18:41:00.000-07:00

Meow

2006-07-06T11:37:00.000-07:00

"I tell you honestly, I just wanted to touch him like a kitten and that desire of mine ended in that act."

Caption This

2006-07-05T18:04:00.000-07:00

Sheer unadulterated creepiness.

2006-06-29T02:07:00.000-07:00

"Funny"

2006-06-15T21:08:00.000-07:00

Also funny:

No good can come of this.

2006-06-02T23:17:00.000-07:00

And you thought you were a geek...

2006-06-02T20:25:00.000-07:00

From the Missed Connections section of Craig's List for Chicago, posted May 19, 2005:

Man seeking his lost light saber - River East 3am showing

Sorry for posting here but there is no lost and found heading and I'm desparate.

If anyone happened to go to the 3am showing of SW III last night and found an Obi-Wan Kenobi light saber, please respond ASAP.

I lost it sometime during the movie. It must've fell out of it's holder, as my Obi-Wan robe was hanging over the edges of the seat. I was sitting about half way up center right, next to my roommate who was wearing a Storm Trooper uniform - Some woman made him take his helmet off right before III started and they had a brief argument about it - maybe you heard it - what a bitch - You ain't no Leah, sweetheart. Anyway... I'm thinking it probably rolled down a few rows. If it wasn't for the 5 or 7 Old Milwaukees (Thanks Obi-Wan Robe deep pockets) my roommate and I had before the show I could've just used the force to levitate it back to me, but hey, who am I kidding?

By the way: HOW COOL WAS THE TRANSFORMATION INTO VADAR SCENE!!!? SO WICKED, SINISTER AND SWEEEEET! By the way, I was the one who yelled out, "Now rise, ya' asthmatic!" after he took his first mechanized breaths. ZING! YES!!

Anyway, I bought the saber at a convention about 15 years ago in Kansas City. It was made from the same mold as the original and hence, you can see why I'd be so Rogered to get it back. I'd be willing to pay a reward, no questions asked upon its return - or I could just treat you to a second showing of III - I'll throw in a drink and whatever concession you want - just please no nachos as they crunch loud and I can't hear the killer sound effects - so a soft candy or even popcorn is cool - with butter to dull the crunchiness.

The Obi-Wan saber is silver with a black "Saber On/Saber Off" button. It's also the same weight as the original, about 3 lbs - can you imagine having a fight with Vadar or whoever waving a 3 lb saber around for that long!?? That's not including the actual laser light either, although I'm guessing the laser light would only add a few more ounces at most.

To anyone who hasn't seen III yet, you're going to absolutely love it. I couldn't sleep at all when I got home. If I had a girlfriend, she probably would've been like, "Shut up already and go to sleep." I did come up with a great invention idea though for an alarm clock that whenever it goes off, instead of a "BEEP, BEEP, BEEP" it uses the Emperor's voice saying: "Now, Riiiiise."

So cool!!!!!!!!

Okay, thanks for your patience and please email me with any info.

May the force be with you all and thanks again in advance.

Caption This!

2006-05-18T11:10:00.000-07:00

And you thought there was no money in incompetence . . .

2006-05-02T13:43:00.000-07:00

Hee Hee Hee Hee Hee!

2006-04-18T13:51:00.000-07:00

Creep

2006-04-02T21:59:00.000-07:00

Erik gets all the credit for this find. Animated video of Radiohead's "Creep". Genius.

Baby, It's Cold Outside

2006-01-25T18:35:00.000-08:00

I love Louis Black. He's damned funny and angry at all the right things. This moves from weather to the economy, and he wraps it up nicely.

What is this "porn" you speak of?

2006-01-24T22:14:00.000-08:00

". . . with intent to annoy."

2006-01-11T13:25:00.000-08:00

Yuhp.

2006-01-01T23:57:00.000-08:00

And then there's this oldie

2005-12-29T03:36:00.000-08:00

I gotta have more cowbell.

Lazy Sunday

2005-12-29T03:10:00.000-08:00

Best. Rap. Ever.

This can only end in tragedy.

2005-12-22T13:13:00.000-08:00

This too.

Ole Glowy Eyes....

2005-12-22T00:44:00.000-08:00

Awww... he misses you...

Lest we forget...

2005-12-14T00:21:00.000-08:00

Tee hee... So cute! The Professor is my fave!

What's on Your Christmas List?

2005-12-09T09:21:00.000-08:00

RSS Feeds to your toilet paper.... The news- when you need it most. Or the most appropriate place to read it...

OMFG

2005-12-01T20:32:00.000-08:00

And . . .

Where is Bill's Smear List?

2005-11-21T07:46:00.000-08:00

Two posts today, my first two ever here. I'm cross posting from my site. I figured I'd share these two. I wanted to contribute something to malevolent snugglebutt, but I'm too lazy to actually create something unique. So...

Bill's done it again. No, no - he hasn't sexually harassed one of his employees again (well, at least not that we know of). He's lied, silly. That was your second guess, right? Figured.

Okay, on November 2, Bill O'Reilly invited Al Qaeda to come attack the Coit Tower in San Francisco. Predictably, a few people were upset about this hateful, anti-American, unpatriotic, terroristic statement. And quite a few websites started discussing O'Reilly's terrorist invitation. Well, Bill didn't like this none too much. In fact, he got pretty pissed off about it. Here's what he said on November 14's edition of The O'Reilly Factor:

I'm glad the smear sites made a big deal out of it. Now we can all know who was with the anti-military internet crowd. We'll post the names of all who support the smear merchants on billoreilly.com. So check with us.

Well, it's been nearly a week and still no list. Help out by e-mailing Bill and his website support staff to ask what is going on with the list. I'm REALLY hoping that I make the list. Wish me luck. If I'm very lucky, A la Gauche and The Anti-Bill O'Reilly Blog will both make the list!

Read more about Bill's latest lie:

Crooks and Liars: O'Reilly - I Was Just Kidding
NewsHounds: It Was Just a Satirical Riff
Think Progress: O'Reilly Resorts to McCarthyism

Bush Asks God to Bless Christians of China ... and Forget Everyone Else

2005-11-21T07:44:00.000-08:00

I have a bumper sticker on my car that reads "May God Bless the People of Every Nation." I put it up for two reasons. First, I believe in it. Second, I'm sick and tired of seeing all the God Bless America stickers on SUVs. Think about it. God bless the USA? Just us? Why? Doesn't God love all of God's children?

Well, President Bush doesn't think so. During his visit to China, President Bush signed a guestbook at a Protestant Church. He wrote, "May God bless the Christians of China." Hmm....how nice? Everyone else - y'all just go to hell.

read the story at CNN...

Join the club.

2005-11-17T10:09:00.000-08:00

Ahem.

2005-11-15T19:53:00.000-08:00

"The Banana Guard was specially designed to fit the vast majority of bananas."

In other news . . .

2005-11-11T11:54:00.000-08:00

Voters in Texas just approved an amendment to their state constitution banning ~~gay~~ marriage:

Article I, Texas Constitution, (The Bill of Rights) is amended by adding Section 32 to read as follows:

Sec. 32.
(a) Marriage in this state shall consist only of the union of one man and one woman.
(b) This state or a political subdivision of this state may not create or recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage.

Webster adds:

identical (adjective)
1. the very same; as, the identical person.
2. exactly alike or equal; as, an identical proposition.

HOLY CRAPDATE:

Since the amendment defines marriage as only involving one man and one woman, d'ya suppose a civil union between two men, or two women -- or three men, two dogs, and a goat -- would be dissimilar enough from marriage to escape the ban?

Is it possible that this amendment only banned straight marriages?

These are the People in my Neighborhood...

2005-11-08T09:24:00.000-08:00

Ahnuld's Neighborhood

2005-11-07T20:49:00.000-08:00

Just in Case You Were Wondering . . . ?
(via Wonkette.)

Moo

2005-11-05T11:17:00.000-08:00

Cow Tipping Debunked

More Good News

2005-11-04T17:54:00.000-08:00

2005-11-02T18:25:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the Mile-High City.

2005-10-31T23:31:00.000-08:00

Was Harriet Miers Just too Sexy for the Supreme Clown Posse?

UPDATE (also via Mr. Snitch): Now that's a meal!

AND: Girl plays with herself on webcam.

Politicians who hated their children:

2005-10-31T22:08:00.000-08:00

(unintentionally via Wonkette) . . . Indiana Senator Evan Bayh (pronounced "bye"):

Senator Bayh counts as his most important role and greatest responsibility a position he assumed in November 1995: proud father of twin sons Beau and Nick - a joy he shares daily with his wife, Susan.

Yeah.

That's right.

Beau Bayh.

2005-10-31T20:36:00.000-08:00

Flailing Arms Wildly to Protect Obsolete Business Model, Music Industry Smacks Artists, Fans, Self

(Via Atrios@Eschaton.)

2005-10-30T02:17:00.000-08:00

Oh, dear.

2005-10-24T12:04:00.000-07:00

Party With the Master
(via JimK, who also points us to the Which Sci-Fi Character Are You? quiz)

Clowns are for laughing

2005-10-23T03:07:00.000-07:00

Laugh with the delightful clowns.

yo soy mirthful hilarity

You volunteered, didn't you?

2005-10-21T10:28:00.000-07:00

We're paying you, aren't we?

I don't get it.

2005-10-17T20:30:00.000-07:00

Where's the costume?

Bombing Blue Babies

2005-10-10T09:20:00.000-07:00

See the video.

(Posted @ Crooks & Liars)

Rabid Houseapes of the Week: Pop Goes Lethal

2005-10-09T14:39:00.000-07:00

Songs:
Skorpion Skatt . . . Rappin' Eric . . . Princess Magic Rainbow Sparkle -- Even in Mexico . . . My Token

Sites:
The Pop Goes Lethal Podcast . . . The Vox Monitor Podcast . . . Komputadora . . . Mr. Strauss

Who are these lunatics?

Star Wars ticket

2005-10-08T22:51:00.000-07:00

Sorry if you guys have already seen this.

2005-10-07T23:14:00.000-07:00

What's one more than wrong?

UPDATE: Hey, I've got a great idea . . .

File Under: REALLY Unpleasant Thoughts

2005-10-05T21:44:00.000-07:00

Howard Dean on Hardball:

Well, certainly the president can claim executive privilege. But in the this case, I think with a lifetime appointment to the Supreme Court, you can't play, you know, hide the salami, or whatever it's called.

Don't tell him that . . .

2005-10-04T02:29:00.000-07:00

"It's a working title."

Can't . . . sleep . . .

2005-10-03T21:03:00.000-07:00

must . . . battle . . . descending . . . blocks!

Waaaaagh!

2005-10-03T12:29:00.000-07:00

Um.

When Moore Attacks

2005-10-02T12:49:00.000-07:00

The Plague is Coming!

2005-10-02T03:56:00.000-07:00

Thousands have perished already . . .

Debbie Does Dallas:

2005-10-02T03:03:00.000-07:00

the Musical

Instant Karma

2005-10-02T02:47:00.000-07:00

Thriller done entirely in Legos

Help Me Jeebus

2005-10-02T01:53:00.000-07:00

"This is indeed a dark city, and we're bringing the light. You know, wherever the soldiers go, there goes the Word of God."

(Via Famous & Nonfamous Strangers)

Random Free $#!+

2005-10-02T01:26:00.000-07:00

Harvey Danger's new record.

My new favorite band (though I haven't listened to him yet), Brad Sucks.

malevolent snugglebutt

Heh!

Wrong on so many levels, I hardly know where to start.

YAY A CARTOON!

Ack.

US Presidential Speeches Tag Cloud

Caption This

Wheeeee . . .

You can all expect e-mails soon . . .

Improv Everywhere Does Aspen

*yawn* Too much effort.

The Nifty Thing

WARNING: MAY BE ADDICTIVE

So many windows, so little time...

Yowza.

Caption This

English Lesson 101

Caption This

"Remember, no matter how tempting it is do not lick your computer screen."

What in the blue Hell . . . ?

He wuz haaaaaaard.

Um.

WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED OF THIS!?!

"Deeper and deeper into the bowels of el Diablo . . ."

"Fine! Then you sit here, and I'll watch movies and do gay!"

Boldly Go

Science Faction

Vroom, Vroom, Vroom!

Caption This

How much longer now?

NEDERLAND DAYZERS:

Two kinds of desecration.

"You heard me, wookies . . ."

Caption This

To the tune of the Eagles' "Desperado"

Your interest policies, I cannot embrace . . .

It's like a hobby,

Tough call.

Nooooooooooooo . . .

Mwa.

Vote for Life

It's just a what?

Average Homeboy

Hooraaaaaaay beer!

Gas Price Map of U.S.

Someone had waaaaaay too much time on his hands

There's some sort of deep message here, I'm sure of it.

Win their trust before you eat 'em.

Meow

Caption This

Sheer unadulterated creepiness.

"Funny"

No good can come of this.

And you thought you were a geek...

Caption This!

And you thought there was no money in incompetence . . .

Hee Hee Hee Hee Hee!

Creep

Baby, It's Cold Outside

What is this "porn" you speak of?

". . . with intent to annoy."

Yuhp.

And then there's this oldie

Lazy Sunday

This can only end in tragedy.

Ole Glowy Eyes....

Lest we forget...

What's on Your Christmas List?

OMFG

Where is Bill's Smear List?

Bush Asks God to Bless Christians of China ... and Forget Everyone Else

Join the club.

Ahem.

In other news . . .

These are the People in my Neighborhood...

Moo

More Good News

Politicians who hated their children:

Flailing Arms Wildly to Protect Obsolete Business Model, Music Industry Smacks Artists, Fans, Self

Clowns are for laughing

yawn Too much effort.